💫 Single, Not Settling: The Sacred Season of Choosing Yourself
Not waiting. Not settling. Just walking forward — with clarity, softness, and soul.
Being single in your mid-30s, especially after you’ve done the inner work, isn’t passive.
It’s powerful.
It’s not about waiting.
It’s about discerning.
It’s about knowing what your soul needs and being brave enough not to grasp at half-love just to quiet the ache.
The world tells you to move faster.
Settle sooner.
Shrink your longing.
But if you’ve ever tasted real connection — soul-level, soft, electric, mutual — you know the difference.
You can’t un-know it.
🖤 The Quiet Grief of Singleness
There’s a quiet grief that comes with singleness, but not always for the reasons people assume.
It’s not just about wanting a partner.
It’s about living in a world that sees singleness as a gap, a flaw, or a phase you’re supposed to rush through.
It’s about navigating weddings, holidays, and group dinners like you’re half a sentence waiting to be finished.
Sometimes it’s about being the only one at the table with no one saving you a seat.
But this post isn’t about sadness.
It’s about sanctity.
Somewhere along the way, I realized:
Singleness isn’t the waiting room.
It’s the workroom.
The holy space where you meet yourself — again and again — not as a placeholder, but as the whole point.
🎬 What Materialists Taught Me About Settling
Lately, I’ve been thinking about the film Materialists1. Lucy, the main character, is a matchmaker — sharp, stylish, emotionally attuned. She helps others find love, but struggles with her own heart. She’s caught between what looks good on paper and what actually feels true.
That tension? I’ve lived it.
I’ve been told to choose the resume, the safety, the polish.
But I’ve loved deeply before. I’ve been seen.
And like Lucy, I’m not holding out for perfect.
I’m holding out for real.
For someone who makes my soul feel like it can finally exhale.
Watching the film wasn’t painful. It was clarifying.
I realized: I’ve been the woman who almost got chosen.
But I’m no longer willing to be the “almost.”
I’m not waiting to be picked.
I’m choosing myself — fully, fiercely, tenderly.
🌿 This Season Isn’t a Failure. It’s a Becoming.
Some of the most powerful chapters of my life have unfolded without a partner.
In the rebuilding.
In the solitude.
In the quiet becoming.
Singleness has held my greatest heartbreaks — yes.
But it’s also held my deepest healing.
It’s where I’ve done the soul-work no relationship ever gave me space for.
It’s where I stopped performing strength and started embodying softness.
It’s where I asked:
What would it look like to choose myself — not by default, but on purpose?
💫 What I Know Now
I’ve had seasons where I wondered if I was too much.
Or not enough.
Or just… invisible.
But over time, I stopped asking why I hadn’t been chosen.
And started asking who I was becoming while I waited.
I stopped contorting myself to feel wanted.
And started tending to the parts of me that had been waiting to feel whole.
Because singleness, when held with reverence, can become a sacred threshold —
Not the absence of love, but the refinement of it.
🕊 To the Ones Still Single…
Not because you're broken,
but because you’re building.
Not because you're unlovable,
but because you’re finally choosing love that aligns with your becoming.
This season is not a failure.
It’s a devotion — to truth, to alignment, to yourself.
And if you’re here...
Reading this with a soft ache in your chest, I just want to say:
You are not behind.
You are not forgotten.
You are not too late for the life you’re meant for.
You’re just walking a different path —
One that takes more faith, more patience, more courage.
But also… more power.
🖤 And So No, I’m Not Ashamed of Being Single at 35.
I’m proud of the woman I’ve become here.
Because I haven’t delayed my life.
I’ve deepened it.
And whoever joins me next?
They won’t be arriving to save me.
They’ll be walking into a life that’s already full.
If you’re here too — single, sovereign, soft, and still believing in love — I see you.
You’re not waiting.
You’re becoming.
And that’s a love story too.
🌙 Want to keep the conversation going? Join the private chat, a space for softness, soul, and kindred reflection.
💌 Inside The Inner Room
My next post is a sacred one — about the love I still carry for someone I had to let go of.
It’s for anyone who’s ever loved deeply… and had to heal anyway.
I’ll meet you there.
With love,
Katie
Materialists (2024) is a romantic drama that explores the tension between emotional truth and social expectation.
That’s power… if only we accept that we( women) are complete in ourselves