The Unspoken Truths About Healing

The messy middle, the unraveling, and why becoming whole often feels like breaking first.

They say healing is beautiful. And it is.
Just not in the way Instagram makes it look.

It’s not always candles and journal prompts and perfectly timed breakthroughs.
Sometimes, healing looks like crying in your car after therapy.
Like canceling plans without explaining why.
Like questioning everything you thought you wanted, and wondering if you're losing your mind.

When I first started healing at 21, I thought it would feel like progress.
But it felt more like falling apart.

All the parts of me I’d buried just to get by — the grief, the rage, the fear, the hunger — came rushing up like a tide I wasn’t ready for.

Even errands felt like too much. I’d cry before I even left the house.
Everything hit me harder.
I didn’t know who I was without the mask of high achievement, the illusion of “together.”

Back then, I thought I was broken.
Now I know I was thawing.

The first year of healing isn’t cute.
It’s quiet. It’s raw. It’s disorienting.

You might...

— Crave to be “better” before you’re ready
— Mistake stillness for failure
— Get frustrated when people don’t grow with you
— Miss the version of you that coped, even if she wasn’t okay

Healing stripped me down.
It asked me to meet parts of myself I had spent years judging —
The cravings.
The chaos.
The codependency.
The softness.

But over time, something shifted.
Not because I “arrived,”
But because I started holding myself differently.

I said no when I used to say yes.
I asked for help.
I stopped needing to fix every feeling and started letting them move through me.

And one day, without even realizing it,
I looked around and thought —
I’m not just surviving anymore.
I’m living from self.

That is the quiet miracle of healing.
Not a highlight reel.
Not a straight line.
Just an honest return.

With you,
Katie

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